


You make me brave again

by Morathi_Cain



Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [9]
Category: My Engineer (TV)
Genre: Communication, Established Relationship, Fluff, Ghostship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:15:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24291169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morathi_Cain/pseuds/Morathi_Cain
Summary: This is the sequel to "Another flowerboy", please read it first!Bohn and First are in a relationship and it gives them lots of new experiences. Which isn't always easy, but they manage.aka Bohn gets love, affection, hugs and someone who proudly calls him his "boyfriend"!
Relationships: Bohn/First, past Bohn/Duen
Series: What is it about those engineering boys? [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1708738
Comments: 38
Kudos: 174
Collections: FirstBohn - when a ghostship takes your soul





	You make me brave again

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone who read "Another flowerboy" and loved it! I'm still amazed how many people read the ghostship. You really ARE the BEST! <3
> 
> For everyone, who wants to know the whole background story: https://morathicain.tumblr.com/post/617946910218747904/another-flowerboy-morathicain-my-engineer
> 
> I decided to write more because I love this ship (or rather: it possessed my soul) and because Bohn needs something nice in his life. Aaaaaaaand because you're all amazing!  
> And now I hope you'll all have fun reading it <3

You make me brave again

„Would you like to meet my mother?“

Bohn knew he was overdramatic, but it felt as if the world had stopped turning.

Instead of answering, he stared at his boyfriend, probably looking like the biggest idiot on the planet.

„Bohn?“

First shuffled even closer on the sofa, his thumb brushing Bohn’s knuckles repeatedly.

„I ... what?“

„Do you want to meet my mother?“

„Why?“

First frowned: „Why not? You’re my boyfriend, aren’t you?“

If anyone had asked Bohn what exactly he was feeling right now, he couldn’t have said it. On one hand he wanted to celebrate. The wish to jump up and dance through the kitchen was strong, making his heart race and ... then there was the other part. The doubt if this was even real or if he was dreaming. Because this couldn’t be, could it? Why should First want him to meet his mother? Wasn’t that a bit fast? Was he even worthy? Wouldn’t he embarrass First? He was no nice person, so would she even approve him, or turn him away instantly at the door?

„Bohn!“

Two hands cupped his face, making him realise he’d been spacing out, his breath quickening. But to come back and see those beautiful eyes full of worry, allowed him to take a deep breath. Even if he was feeling guilty for making First worry in the first place.

“What’s going on? Is it too soon? Aren’t you comfortable enough yet? That’s okay, you know? A bit sad for my mother who wants to meet you, but it’s okay.”

Those words made Bohn frown: “She wants to meet me?”

“Of course! I’m telling her about you all the time and she’s curious. Frong may be ready to barf if she starts waxing poetry about you one more time.”

“She’s doing what now?!”

This was a dream. It must be a dream. Why should any parent wax poetry about him? All they should do was threaten him and throw him out once he tried to step in.

Now First actually seemed embarrassed: “I might have been raving a bit about you during one dinner. Or two. Well ...”

If the talk went on like this, Bohn was sure he’d get an aneurism in the next few minutes.

Screw, how he himself wanted to chew anyone’s ear off about First, but for his boyfriend to do it? And to actually rave about him, instead of listing his shortcomings? This couldn’t be true, could it?

Apparently he had stared into the void again, making First worry once more. Bohn felt guilty for doing it all the time, but he was also thankful First didn’t move away in anger. 

“Was it okay for me to talk about you to her? Would you have wanted me to keep it a secret for now?”

“No”, Bohn finally replied, his cheeks heating up from the blush and First’s touch, “You can tell her all you want. It’s just ... Won’t she be disappointed?”

Something akin to realisation seemed to hit First as he kept their eyes locked. After a moment of silence, he tightened his grip on Bohn’s face and pulled him closer for a peck on the nose, before locking eyes again and smiling at him as if he was the sun himself.

The aneurism was close, Bohn could feel it.

“Why should she be disappointed, Bohn? You’re her son’s boyfriend and she trusts my feelings and my assessment, okay? You make me happy and she’s happy if I’m happy. And by the way, you’re an adorable human being with the most charming smile I’ve ever seen. How could she not love you the moment you walk through the door?”

“Now you’re laying it on thick”, Bohn replied, but his voice was tense, stupid tears building up in his eyes.

First shrugged: “Telling you the truth. After all, I’m in love with you, so why wouldn’t I think like that?”

And here he was, the aneurism. Dumbstruck like an idiot he sat there, his face still between his boyfriend’s hands and with no further control over his body.

Right. He was First’s boyfriend. First had chosen him instead of accepting him like a lesser evil. And most importantly, First wasn’t Duen.

Bohn would have liked to hit himself over the head. Multiple times.

“Sorry, yes, I ...”, he didn’t know what to say besides the urge to jump out of the window.

“It’s okay, Bohn.”, and then First smiled this godforsaken, amazing smile, Bohn had fallen in love with. And it was directed at him. Only at him. No other people around.

“Did you never meet his family?”

Bohn would have loved if Duen would have disappeared as a topic in their relationship after so many weeks of relationship advice, but apparently, one couldn’t shove the last relationship out of one’s thoughts so easily. And Bohn had tried. He’d even imagined it, resulting in him feeling guilty for picturing Duen falling off a cliff. It hadn’t been that bad. Or had it?

“I met his sister early on. She’s a friend of my brother and we kind of had those playground dates. And he brought her with him when we went on dates. Once or twice I saw his parents when I came to pick him up or drop him off, but he always made haste to go inside or drive away. So besides an awkward wave, I didn’t meet his parents.”

First frowned in this special way he always did when they talked about Duen. It wasn’t jealousy, but pure anger about Duen treating him the way he had done, Bohn had learnt. When he’d realised it the first time, he’d tried to assure First of his own feelings, but First had instead raged about Duen being an abusive asshole for several minutes. A thought which Bohn hadn’t even allowed himself to think.

“And that’s why I’m doing it for you”, First had told him with a huff, resulting in Bohn tackling him onto the sofa and cuddling him for an hour with no chance to move.

Even now he still didn’t allow himself to think like this about Duen, but he had to accept there were some effects from his former relationship which still lasted.

“Did he meet your parents?”

Bohn shook his head: “Only my brother. I once dared to ask, but his rejection of the idea was so violent, I didn’t dare to do it again. And you know how it was later.”

First snorted: “You were happy enough to meet him without fighting, yes.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be”, First let go of his face and pulled him in for a hug, pressing Bohn’s face in his own shoulder as if he wasn’t the smaller one, “I’m angry at him for making you feel like you’re not worthy enough to be introduced to anyone’s parents. And if it’s too soon for you, we can wait.”

“No”, Bohn shook his head as much as was possible while in a headlock, “If you want it and if she wants it, I’m happy to visit her!”

“Perfect!”

Kisses rained on Bohn’s head and he had to giggle, despite the tightness in his throat. There was still a thought in his mind, but he wasn’t sure if he should ask. But with all they had talked about now ... maybe he should?

“Would you like to meet mine as well?”

First pulled back, giving Bohn a chance to breathe once more.

“You’re sure? You don’t need to just because I asked.”

“No, I want to. It’s just ... I didn’t know it was okay.”

“To ask me? Or to talk about me to them?”

Bohn nodded, feeling shy once more.

“You don’t need my approval to talk about our relationship, okay? I’m happy if you want to, but if you’re not ready, I can wait.”

The concept of telling his parents about his boyfriend and his love. To tell them about the amazing person First was, was mind-blowing. It was a new concept somehow, after a year of keeping it down in case Duen would get angry or shy and pull back. Which wasn’t easy for someone who had the urge to scream his love into the world and let everyone know.

To know now it was okay and First didn’t hate it ... The giddy feeling was overwhelming, Bohn’s smile as wide as his face. If he was allowed to tell his parents, he was also allowed to tell his friends, wasn’t he? Of course they knew he was in a new relationship after the disaster break-up, but he hadn’t dared to tell them about his love the way he wanted, yet. Especially with King ...

“You’re better now?”, First asked, pinching his cheek.

“I love you”, Bohn responded, “And I’m going to meet your mother!”

“Exactly”, and then First pulled him in for a proper kiss.

~~~

Bohn stared.

He knew he was staring, but he couldn’t stop.

Here he was, sitting next to his boyfriend on a bus, surrounded by First’s family. They were about to spend the day in a park close to the city, using a free day together. Which was mostly to humour their mother, who’d had a bad phase for a week but was finally able to go outside again.

Bohn was happy he had been able to meet First’s mother before because he was still nervous. To spend his time with Frong and Thara as well as First’s mother, didn’t make things easier. Frong and he might have a truce and Thara actually seemed like a nice and weird guy, but he was still careful with everything he said and did.

And now he was sitting here, his thigh pressed against First’s and his eyes locked on First’s hand on it. He was, once again, tapping some rhythm as he talked to his mother in front of them.

Bohn wanted to grab his hand and hold it. The urge to do it, to get this kind of connection, was strong and pressing, making him wonder how it would feel. He knew how it was to hold his boyfriend’s hand of course, but he only knew it in the privacy of their homes with just the two of them.

Now they were in public, surrounded by strangers and First’s family. Would it be okay to take his hand then? Or would he be embarrassed, even though those around them knew they were a couple?

Memories of hands being pulled back, made Bohn flinch. So many memories and so much pain. How often he’d tried before giving up. How many ways he had tried even. Asking, not asking, making a deal out of it or not. Slowly moving closer or trying to grasp the hand fast. The result had always been the same: refusal and rejection.

Only the aftermath had been different. Sometimes Duen had ignored the whole moment, sometimes he’d insulted Bohn. Sometimes they had fought, sometimes Bohn had apologised and tried to promise something, anything.

Duen had never told him to not do it again in public, always leaving this tiny spark of hope it could happen the next time. The hope for all of it to get better. But all that was left, were memories of Duen pulling back, rejecting him.

Bohn didn’t want to feel this pain again. He was afraid of it, actually, even though he knew First was different. But even the tiniest chance of going through this moment of utter pain and shame again, made him pull back. Made him curl his hands into fists to keep them from reaching out, from touching, from trying.

It didn’t matter that Frong and Thara were touching each other constantly by being their weird selves. Frong had apparently stopped trying to maintain his image in front of Bohn, his emotions so openly on display, it was difficult to connect him with the composed, self-centred idiot, who’d tried wooing Duen.

Bohn wished he could be like Frong right now, as he watched Frong leaning his head on Thara’s shoulder as if it was no problem.

A touch on his thigh made Bohn jerk up, looking at the hand on his leg, the palm showing upwards and the fingers wiggling. First was still talking to his mother about a new kind of tulips he’d ordered for the shop, but some part of him was apparently with Bohn. Some part of him sought out the touch with Bohn on his own, instead of accepting or even rejecting it.

Bohn knew it was dumb and stupid and just something little, but he felt his throat tightening again, his eyes itching with unshed tears.

Slowly and gently he uncurled his fists, placing one sweaty and shaky hand on top of First’s, whose fingers closed around his instantly, holding him tightly.

And if all Bohn could concentrate on for the rest of the bus trip were those two intertwined hands on his leg, the gentle thumb stroking his knuckles, it didn’t matter. His soft, astonished smile making even Frong bite his tongue.

~~~

When he heard a knock at his door, Bohn went to open it with a wide smile.

A smile which vanished as soon as he stared at a bunch of flowers in front of him, his boyfriend’s face behind.

“Hey! Look what we got into the shop today. Those amazing beauties and I thought you might like them.”

But Bohn kept staring, not sure what exactly to think or what was even going on.

After a few moments of silence, he forced a smile so he wouldn’t disappoint First, who’d looked so happy at first: “They are nice, yes.”

Then he stepped back to let First in, avoiding his gaze until the door was closed again. 

“Bohn? What’s going on?”

He didn’t know himself. His boyfriend had brought him flowers and he wasn’t happy about it. Wasn’t that weird? Shouldn’t he be grinning like a damn idiot, too happy to keep it in?

But memories of so many flowers came back in his mind, all connected with the question “what does it mean?”. It felt like a sign of failure. A reminder of his own failure, of the desperation he’d felt after every rose he’d gotten.

“I’m sorry”, he finally managed, feeling even more like an idiot now. Who would get flashbacks to getting flowers? And why hadn’t it happen till now? First worked in a damn flower shop. But he’d never given Bohn flowers before and somehow it didn’t feel right.

“It’s about Duen, isn’t it?”

There was this frown on First’s face again and Bohn would have loved to kiss it away, but he felt frozen in his body, his mind refusing to move.

“I’m an idiot.”

“Well”, First put the flowers on the Bohn’s desk, turning back to him, “that wasn’t the answer to my question, but maybe we’ll find the right question for that?”

For a tiny moment, Bohn could smile again, pushing First back playfully.

“Or”, First continued, “You could tell me about it and we establish how you’re not an idiot. Choose option one or two?”

The terrible feeling in his gut wasn’t over, but Bohn felt himself relax a bit as he finally took a deep breath. Having First stand in front of him with this slight frown, his whole focus on Bohn, gave him a feeling of safety. Right, it was okay to have those moments and to be stunned and lost for words because this somehow made him feel bad. It was okay ...

Even though nothing was resolved yet, even though they still had to talk, Bohn stepped forward and pulled First into a hug, feeling the warmth and love directly. Touching his boyfriend made him feel safe and relieved, giving him some sense of calmness. He could finally breathe normally again as First’s arms encircled him tightly and as he could sense his breath against his neck, First peppering his skin with feather-like kisses.

“I’m here, everything will be okay.”

Suddenly the memories were back, but they were different. Now it was Duen asking Bohn every morning which flower he wanted, instead of making an effort himself by choosing. Now it was Duen telling him about the last flower he’d get after those thirty days as if there would never be another flower again. Now it was him, pressuring Duen to give him flowers instead of Duen choosing to give them himself. Now it was a bouquet of fifty roses, as unfit to their relationship as anything else. Now it was himself, desperately believing every rose he got from Duen was a sign of affection instead of being the result of a game he’d played, a threat he’d made. It was him, placing meaning on every flower, as if it meant the world.

Slowly the memories faded, leaving Bohn with a new one: His boyfriend First, who’d chosen flowers without any pressure to gift them to Bohn, his boyfriend, as a sign of affection and because he thought about him. 

First did it because he thought about Bohn.

Duen had done it because Bohn had asked him to, had pressured him to do it.

They weren’t the same and it was damn well time to accept this.

“I know”, he responded, finally able to smile again, burying his face into First’s hair, smelling the distant smell of plants and shampoo.

“You still want to talk, cuddly bear?”

Bohn huffed, pressing a kiss on First’s forehead. He knew he should talk, but the realisation he’d once again had, the knowledge of the love he received, made his happiness go through the roof and he wasn’t yet ready to bring it down again.

“Later”, he murmured, continuing to kiss First’s throat, “First I need to show my amazing boyfriend how much I love him.”

If First was a bit irritated by the sudden mood change, he didn’t show it. Instead, he tilted his head to give Bohn a better access: “Well, I’m always up for that.”

And Bohn showed him exactly how much he loved him. And some more ...

~~~

“So”, First started, playing with Bohn’s hair who had his head on First’s chest, “After proving your amazing love to me, are you now ready to tell me why you froze up earlier?”

The happiness-high Bohn had just been on experienced a serious downfall.

“Now?”, he grumbled, wishing he could stay like this and ignore all those Duen-related problems.

“I’d like to know what happened and why it happened, so I can avoid it in the future. I don’t like hurting you, you know?”

Bohn lifted his head a bit: “I know and I’m sorry.”

First gave him a peck to the nose: “Don’t be. I’m sure you have a good reason, so tell me, please.”

If he had to talk about it, Bohn thought, it might just be naked in bed, lying on top of his boyfriend. If someone had to go through uncomfortable talks, one should be as relaxed as possible, shouldn’t it?

“Well”, he started, nervous about what was to come, “I guess I never told you how I made Duen give me flowers every morning for a whole month?”

First stared at him unblinking: “What?”

“And it even was before we started dating.”

The fact First didn’t move away but pulled Bohn closer said a lot about First’s trust in him, but also made him feel braver to tackle the topic.

“No, you didn’t tell me. How did it happen?”

“I promise you won’t like me in this story”, Bohn pulled a face, but First only raised his eyebrow.

“Let me be the judge for that”, he continued after a short moment of silence, “And isn’t it way more important for me to like you now, than your past self?”

Even though Bohn was still tense because of the topic, he pushed himself up for another kiss, sure his heart had just melted.

~~~

Grunting because of the exercise, Bohn wasn’t sure when he’d ever been as nervous as he was now. Every step on the way he got worse, wondering if he was doing the right thing, if it was the right way, if he did anything wrong or if he should simply stop, go away and never come back.

But First had his eyes closed, his lips slightly opened and his hands were gripping Bohn’s shoulders tightly. The soft moan which escaped him made Bohn feel a bit braver, pushing forward slowly, even though his hip was already shaking from all the control he tried to maintain.

“Are you okay?”

First nodded, biting his lip in an attempt to keep himself from moaning again. At least Bohn hoped so, as he pushed a little bit further then.

“Ah!”

Instantly he stopped, staring at First, searching for any kind of pain.

“Nonononono, don’t stop.”

“But you ...”

First opened his eyes again and grabbed Bohn’s face to pull him in for a short kiss: “I’m fine. More than fine. You’ve prepared me for hours and I’m more than ready to get this going, okay? And I need you to go fast or otherwise I’ll go crazy.”

For a second Bohn thought about going even slower, loving the way First rambled when.

“I don’t want to hurt you”, he tried, but First instantly stopped him, ”I know and believe me, I’m thankful for that. I love you for it and I want you to take all the time you need. Still, you can trust me when I say I’m not hurt in any way and I’m enjoying this. I will tell you clearly when it hurts and when I want you to stop, okay?”

Bohn felt as if his heart was about to overflow from all the tenderness filling it. 

Something in his face made First stop his rambling and become as calm as it was possible while being naked and sweaty and fucking.

His fingertips caressed Bohn’s ears, his gaze going soft as he stared up: “Thank you for being careful and for asking and making sure I’m alright. You’re amazing.”

Bohn leaned closer, pushing into First with the movement until he was completely settled, covering his boyfriend’s moan with an open-mouthed kiss until they were both shaking again, an intertwined, moving mess of limbs and heart rates out of control. Until all that was left were puddles of smiles and love and sweat. Until they fell asleep, cuddled up, Bohn’s hand on First’s heart as a constant reminder of his love. 

Until Bohn was finally calm and safe.

~~~

Meeting Bohn’s friends for the first time was nerve-wracking and First usually wasn’t someone to get nervous easily. He’d even survived a visit by Duen’s friends after the break-up, kicking them out of the shop with a smile and a polite “fuck you”.

But meeting people who he wanted to like and who should also like him, was something different. From what Bohn had told him, he didn’t even need a reason to be anxious, his friends being a chaotic bunch of noisy people who he was trusting with his life.

And since he’d started telling them about his life once more, he’d become even more happy, knowing he had the support and trust of his people.

First loved seeing Bohn happy and he wanted to meet them, but he also wanted them to like him and to think he was good for Bohn. Because after the Duen-dilemma there had been a strong protection-urge in the group. Rightfully so, he thought, since he had the same urge and wanted to be part of this specific squad. 

But of course they would also wonder if he was the right one and he completely understood.

A light shove against his shoulder make First look up at Bohn, who was grinning at him: “I survived your mother and Frong. You’ll survive them as well, believe me.”

“But what if ...”

“They already like you, okay? Boss thinks you’re a god, Mek likes everyone who is halfway decent and King is excited already because he can talk plants to you. Tee is Tee and might vomit if we behave too lovey-dovey. Which is something he threatens the rest all the time. Too bad he’s the only single person now.”

First laughed, his nervousness getting lower, even if it didn’t vanish completely.

What did Bohn even mean with lovey-dovey? How did he even want to behave in front of them? From what he knew, Bohn wouldn’t want to stay far apart, but did he want to cuddle? Or did he want to stay apart, but only a little bit? What should he do?

Bohn opened the door, bringing them eye to eye with his friends, who were really a loud, chaotic bunch, each member almost instantly recognisable for First. Especially King, who he recognised instantly.

“The venus flytrap-guy!”

Well, maybe he shouldn’t have said that out loud. The guy next to King looked at him questioningly, but King instantly jumped up: “The flower shop guy!”

“Did you grow the flytrap? Did it work?”

“Yes!”, King grinned and pointed to the guy next to him, “He got them and they are growing beautifully!”

“Oh”, First was intrigued already, “You have to tell me how ....”

An arm around his shoulder, pulling him against Bohn, stopped him mid-sentence.

“That can wait for another minute or neither of us will ever get anything to eat, babe.”

Oh, First thought while blushing, that was how Bohn wanted to do it.

Someone cooed, but First didn’t mind, sneaking his arm around Bohn’s waist. He definitely wouldn’t miss that chance!

“Guys, this is First, my boyfriend. Be nice to him!”

First would have laughed a bit at him, remembering Bohn’s utter nervousness when presented with Frong and his mother, if he hadn’t noticed the slight tremble in Bohn’s hand as he was pulling him even closer. 

“Nice to meet you”, he greeted the bunch with a smile, even though his pulse was still racing.

The answering mess of cheers, greetings and laughter fit the image he’d had of them and instantly made him more comfortable. Although that may also be because of those stroking fingers at his shoulder and the wide smile Bohn had on his face. First could have sworn his eyes were sparkling.

They went to their seats, which were luckily directly next to King. Once they’d chosen their drinks, Bohn leaned closer, his hand grasping First’s under the table: “Did I promise you too much?”

“No”, First shook his head, the tenderness inside his heart aching, “No, you didn’t.”

Bohn showed his teeth in a proud smile and First couldn’t stop himself: “I love you, you know?”

“I know”, Bohn responded before kissing First right then and there, taking First by surprise. A rather pleasant surprise, he thought, as he kissed back.

“Really, guys? During lunch?!”, was a voice to be heard in the background, making Bohn grin during the kiss. 

Which was really the best kind of kiss, First decided, not bothering to hide his own laugh. 

the End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Please let me know if you like it ;)
> 
> Ps. If anyone is interested in dabbling with the couple, please feel free to do so! We can create a collection =)


End file.
